I am distracted at work today.  I’ve had yucky, sticky blood sugars for almost 3 days now.  Mostly 200s that won’t budge (well there was a brief break on Saturday afternoon) unless they go up to the 300s and at one LONG point on the commute yesterday, a lovely HIGH reading.  UGH.  I have temporary basaled like crazy, way over-bolused out of frustration without any success, and attempted to flood myself with liquids.  2 insulin vial changes and 5 (yeah that’s right 5) site changes. 1 site hurt, 1 was so much worse than hurting… more like stabbing, but ALL 5 bled when I pulled them.  I did a site change at the office this morning only to realize I had used up my desk stash of reservoirs.  I couldn’t run home at the time, so I gave myself an injection.  When was the last time I used a syringe?  No clue, but it looked surprisingly tiny to me.  As I went to inject myself, my hand started to shake as I got the needle just shy of my skin.  My first thought, we’re having an earthquake.  Nope.  Tried again.  Same thing.  Still not an earthquake.  3rd try, I got it.  30 minutes later, I left for more pump supplies and to finish the site change.  I’ve been using the 6 mm Insets for the past few months and switched to one 9mm once today to no avail.  I have (temporarily) fixed quite a few electronics by hitting them against a table when nothing else seemed to work (have you met my TV remote control?).  So here’s my thinking…I would like to punch myself in the pancreas and see if that helps… you know, like a jump start.  Even if it were just temporary, I could use a break from this today.  It’s upsetting and scary.  This current pump site doesn’t hurt.  I don’t want to get too relieved just yet as It’s too early to tell if it’s working (fingers crossed)  Seriously though?  5 vampire cannulas?  5 in a row?  REALLY?

So what’s the positive spin?  I certainly appreciate ALL the times that things like this DO NOT happen.  I appreciate all the times I forget I’m on a pump because it isn’t vampire bloody hell hurting me.  I appreciate that my mouth doesn’t normally taste like I’m sucking on pennies (gag).  I appreciate that people donate their time and money to diabetes research.  I appreciate that diet ginger ale is sold within my office building.  I appreciate that aside from all this diabetes madness I did have a nice weekend.  I also appreciate that I discovered Jumping Beans are a really thing (I had no idea).

If anyone wants to help me with this punch-my-pancreas-reset-experiment, just let me know.  I may however be busy be doing another site change.  Grrrrr.